Baking – My love/hate relationship.

I didn’t think I would have a topic to share with you all today, but I was going through pictures on my phone and had an ah-ha moment.  I took  a picture of a big batch of cookies I made today and smiled from ear to ear.  I absolutely…positively…hate baking.  I had a flash back of making this batch of cookies.  Flour flying, reviewing my recipe with dough filled fingers, washing my hands eighty thousand times to get all the flour bits off, egg shells oozing onto the table.  I hate baking!  It’s too messy and since there’s this crazy ‘science’ to it I feel like it doesn’t let me be free.  I feel trapped in this world of you MUST do it this way.  I admit I did rebel – I used almond extract instead of vanilla..Ha! Take that baking!

Maybe its just a bad case of OCD but the idea of flour being stuck to every crevice of my body just drives me insane.  You may be wondering – how do you manage to get flour all over?  Answer is..I have no idea.  I think its some conspiracy against me and the baking Gods.  They seem to know that flour and powdery things are my pet peeve and they just stick to me like magnets.

As I mentioned before I also don’t like being so restricted to recipes.  When I cook I just analyze what I have to work with and then I make something.  There’s no paper getting involved in my relationship with my ingredients.  I know that to seasoned bakers recipes may not mean much to them either.  But unless there’s some sort of invention to keep the flour away from me I don’t think I’ll ever reach that point.

Here is where the love part comes into play in the love/hate relationship.  When all is said and done and the flour is cleaned up and the recipe is crumpled up in the corner of my counter – I have an end result that is beautiful.  I have made cakes and felt violent the entire time but when I see the end result and know that I made that – all is well in the world.  That is how i felt when I made my cookies today.  I know that in the moment I felt depressed, angry, sticky and had so much flour on me I felt like a human dumpling – but hours later when the product is looking all pretty on my counter I forget that making that drove me absolutely insane.  I think I will continue to hate baking the rest of my life but I will continue to do it despite my harsh feelings towards it.  Baking you can go to hell – but I’ll see you again someday.