I will start off by saying I did not finish Whole 30
I am not upset..
I am not ashamed..
It was the right choice for me.
Before I start my reasoning for my choice I will say that Whole 30 is an excellent program and is certainly helpful with changing your mindset on how you think of food and show you that you really can survive without junk! I still stand behind this program and highly recommend it to people who have an unhealthy relationship with food. It just wasn’t the right time for me to be testing out such a drastic diet. I should have known that before I started!
If you have followed my blog when I started you’ll know I have been sick for a majority of the Whole 30. It may not be a ‘normal’ sickness like you’d think of flu or a cold or anything but I have been battling a virus of sorts that causes me to have extreme mouth ulcers (canker sores). Aside from severe mouth pain is also causes me to be super tired all the time since my body is constantly fighting to heal. My family doctor has believed I have an auto-immune disorder that causes this however it is super rare, hard to diagnose and just as harder to treat. I have gone my whole life just treating the symptoms because there really isn’t a system in place to treat this disorder. I am finally seeing a specialist who is the leading researcher in this disorder in Chicago. Hopefully I will get answers and relief.
When I started Whole 30 I read the book and knew what was expected. I also read up a lot on paleo diet since it’s so similar. And they both said to not be afraid of fat as long as it was healthy fat. In the beginning I did fairly well getting close to my calorie range I had in the beginning. After a few days I started getting stomach pains. I know this pain very well – Its the same pain I used to get before I got my gallbladder taken out. I was told to watch my fat intake because the pain could come back. Its been 7 years since I had that pain and I started getting it daily. I would effect my workouts, I couldn’t run as long and even skipped the gym some days. So then I realized I need to reduce my fat. So I ate less fat and upped my veggies and tried to limit fruit since its still sugar and they explained dont eat too much fruit or make it the main focus. Then my mouth sores came back which even limited the fruit I could have. I am already highly allergic to all citrus fruits. So this leaves me with berries, melon, apples, pears. When I have my mouth sores I can’t have anything remotely bitter or sour. Because of this I had to get rid of berries and apples. This meant that my last few weeks of the diet have consisted of chicken or limited fatty proteins, vegetables and watermelon. Since I didn’t have many options to eat I started eating a lot of vegetables.
This started a whole new problem. Instead of stomach problems and mouth pain..I was now running to the bathroom constantly. I am not saying casual bathroom breaks..im talking emergencies. Let’s just say this super shy girl had to get over the phobia of pooping in public restrooms! (sorry,over share but I have to explain my situation!)
The last couple days of eating..bathroom…eating…bathroom..eating..bathroom I finally said “Why are you even doing this to yourself!”. I was constantly hungry because nothing stayed in me very long..and anything that would previously fill my calorie range was off-limits. I was averaging around 1300 calories a day when im used to around 1900. I was starving! I kept telling myself I had to finish just for the sake of finishing. I convinced myself everyone would think im a loser for giving up. Then I told myself..nobody else is feeling the symptoms of what im feeling. Constant bathroom breaks, stomach pain, mouth sores, and hunger. This is most definitely not what I was hoping for. This was supposed to make me feel better, not worse. Also I must say this so im not coming off wrong about Whole 30. I totally believe in the program. However my special circumstances caused this to be far more difficult than it had to be for me. Not everyone has to battle my auto-immune disorder and lack of a gallbladder. It was just not the right time for me at all. Due to the lack of calories my workouts really went on the way-side and that is not something I wanted to happen. I would get tired after 30 minutes and want to just give up and was probably only going to the gym about 3 days a week.
I finally threw in the towel when I went to the mall with my mom, niece, sister in law and soon to be sister in law. We were picking out the flower girl dress for my niece and got frozen yogurt after. I had been telling myself dont give into the frozen yogurt because you only have 8 days left. Then I told myself “great..i have 8 days left of eating and pooping..how exciting”. Then when everyone went through the line and got their frozen yogurt and I was sitting there with no frozen yogurt..I finally said ya know…enough is enough. I dont feel good..im starving..and right now im an outsider because im being stubborn and worrying about what people will say when I say I couldnt finish whole 30. It most certainly wasn’t peer pressure or a lack of will power…my mom didn’t even get frozen yogurt so I wouldn’t have been alone if I hadn’t gotten any. But I told myself I feel sick..and now I cant even do a normal activity with my family. And a fairly innocent one at that! I gave in and got myself a little cup of frozen yogurt. I got banana yogurt with shredded coconut..
It. was. heavenly.
I do not regret not finishing..and I am hopeful for my doctors appointment tomorrow to see if I can finally get some relief.
Whole 30 was certainly not a waste..here is what my take-away was for my Whole 22
- I found out I love Swiss Chard (alot!)
- All processed foods are now out..If I cant read it..I dont eat it
- I can say no to breads. Burgers, hot dogs, chicken, turkey etc. is just as good sans bread
- I can live without diet soda
- I do like water and really love brewing my own iced tea
- I can live without chocolate every day
- I have way more willpower than I gave myself credit
- Trader Joes is my new favorite grocery store
- Vegetables can be a star in a meal
- I am no longer going to get frankenfood (low-fat, fat free chemically modified to be ‘healthy’)
- I am no longer afraid of ‘healthy fats’
I am very happy I gave it a go because there is so much I would still be clueless on..and I would still be eating chocolate everyday, drinking soda and my main beverage and still noshing on processed frankenfood. Thank you Whole 30